Birth Plan A – Laugh Through the Pain
July 13, 2015
I previously wrote a post about questions I had about labor and delivery, and that I wasn’t sure what I wanted to include in my birth plan (or if I even wanted a birth plan).
Well, I still don’t know what I want, but I’ve got some great ideas I’m going to explore, and when it’s game-time I’ll pick whichever one feels best. Since I’ve been dealing with uterine irritability and these contractions are really painful, I’m feeling a bit more empowered and optimistic that I MIGHT, mayyyybe, possibly be open to having a painful natural birth. Whaaaaattt?? I know.
So I started thinking about what works to distract me when I’m in the midst of these painful contractions, or when I’m down or in a weird funk, or stressed out. And the only consistent remedy in every situation is laughter, so that’s my birth plan A.
(Though to be completely honest, when I searched for pictures related to “laughing during labor,” there really wasn’t anything that came up… eek. Which leads me to believe it’s either not possible or nobody else has thought of it yet? I’m going with the latter.)
Related side-story: After I had my daughter and I was in recovery in the hospital, the nurse told me she needed me to pee and empty my bladder when the epidural wore off. But I couldn’t do it. There was a mishap with the catheter during labor (ugh, don’t even ask about that one), and my bladder muscles were shot. I sat on the toilet in my recovery room bathroom for over an hour. We sent our precious newborn to the nursery and my husband sat next to me on the tub, and I tried so hard to pee. The nurse kept coming in every 10 minutes or so to see if I’d made any progress, and finally started threatening another catheter if I couldn’t do it by myself. Obviously, I was very against the idea of another stupid catheter, so I shimmied and pushed and tried everything, but to no avail.
Finally, I realized I wasn’t going to be able to do it. My husband and I just started talking while we waited for her to come back in so we could give her the news. Well, that darling, amazing man of mine said something that made me laugh HARD and what do you know, laughter did the trick! She came back in and we were laughing hysterically that laughter actually worked and at the whole situation, and she was initially confused because every other time she had visited I had been extremely anxious and worried. We explained that why we were laughing and that I had successfully peed, and she also laughed and was relieved that I was able to go potty all by myself. But she didn’t give me a sticker or a toy or anything, but that’s okay.
So, my plan is to laugh my way through labor. A good, light-hearted environment would be good for everyone in the room, right? Who wouldn’t like a little background “Charlie bit my finger” in an otherwise extremely tense delivery room?Or, this hilarious Hemsworth brothers’ adaptation from Jimmy Kimmel
Initially, I plan on bookmarking a good share of articles from “The Onion” to read in the early stages of labor while the contractions are still bearable. Even just skimming the headlines on “The Onion’s” Facebook page makes me laugh out loud. I also plan on adding on to my “humor” board on Pinterest because not to brag or anything, but I’ve got a pretty impressive collection of hilarious memes and pins if I do say so myself.
Then, when the contractions pick up and reading isn’t realistic anymore, my strategy is to watch a compilation of the funniest YouTube videos of all time. I’m talking the eye-watering, gut-rolling, laugh-out-loud videos that you remember the next day and still make you laugh out loud. (Suggestions are welcome and encouraged). I might also make a list of my favorite episodes of “The Office” or some Jim Gaffigan sketches to watch, as well.
Once the baby’s head is out, my plan is to have my husband or a nurse quickly turn off whatever is playing so Michael Scott’s voice isn’t the first thing he hears when he enters this world. This is when the seriousness will begin and all focus will be on bonding with and caring for that sweet little baby. Our tears of laughter will turn to tears of joy as we bundle that little boy in our arms and [hopefully] call him by his name [that we haven’t picked yet] for the first time. And I won’t even remember any of the pain because I’ll be distracted by the overwhelming joy from holding a precious, minutes-old newborn baby, as well as trying to recover from a fit of laughter after watching an episode of “Impractical Jokers.”
It will be magical.
What helped you get through the contractions during labor? Any suggestions for my repertoire of humor I’m creating? Share below!
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