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When is it Ok to Ask a Woman if She’s Pregnant

October 26, 2017

Curiosity gets the better of all of us sometimes, and you might think it’s better to get the news straight from the source instead of asking another third party and starting gossip. But is this okay if you suspect someone is pregnant? Here are some societal rules about asking a woman if she’s pregnant, and keep reading to understand why.

Can you ask her if it’s clear she’s gained weight, especially in the midsection?

No.

Can you ask her if you run into her while she’s buying tons of ice cream at the grocery store late at night?

No.

Can you ask her if you’re with other people who also suspect she’s pregnant?

No.

Can you ask her if you’ve known each other for years?

No.

Can you ask her if her husband is standing with her?

No.

Can you ask her if you see her buying maternity clothes?

No.

Can you ask her if you notice her if you notice her usual clothing fits differently?

No.

Can you ask her if you see her eating more food than seems typical?

No.

Can you ask her if you notice she’s avoiding alcohol?

No.

Can you ask her if you heard she was sick?

No.

 

So, why not? What is so offensive about asking a woman if she’s pregnant, especially if it’s ridiculously obvious? Are women really THAT sensitive about their weight and what they look like?

No.

Simply put, pregnancy is her news to share when and how she wants. Perhaps she’s experienced complications, loss, or family issues that she’d like to keep private. Although you may think you’re avoiding gossip by asking her directly instead of asking other suspicious friends or acquaintances, it’s very likely that if you don’t know she’s pregnant, you’re not meant to know at the time. The best rule of thumb is to respect other people’s privacy and personal lives unless they offer their news to you. You may be well-meaning and just want to help, but realize that offering help doesn’t need a qualifier. You can call up your friend and simply ask how she is and if she could use a hand with anything, without prying. Sometimes we all just need a helpful hand and not a listening ear. Always be the helping hand, but also have your listening ear ready if the trust you’ve built trust through service breaks down the wall of privacy and she needs a confidant. True friends have each other’s best interests in mind, especially when it comes to personal matters like pregnancy.

Do you have any stories about people asking if you or someone you know is pregnant? Share with us!

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Author Info

Avatar for Angela Silva

Angela Silva

Angela graduated with her B.S. in Exercise and Wellness and is a NASM certified personal trainer who specializes in postpartum fitness and recovery. She enjoys writing, cracking jokes, and spending time with her family, preferably while fishing. She shares many of her life adventures on Instagram as @angelagrams

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One thought on “When is it Ok to Ask a Woman if She’s Pregnant

amfreeman@udallas.edu'

Amy

I understand the “shopping for maternity clothing” one. It’s natural to want to make conversation in those cases. Especially in these days when it’s easy to order clothing online if a person would absolutely not wish to be associated with the maternity section. Woman of child-bearing age shopping in a maternity section…it’s almost an invitation for conversation. However, there are way more tactful ways of making conversation with a fellow shopper. Smile, comment on the cute clothing. If the person seems conversational, you could even ask, “Do you have any recommendations?” The fellow shopper may choose to share that she’s pregnant with that lead-in if she so wishes. However, it’s easy to say, “No, not really,” and keep private.