Should I Have a Baby Shower for my Second Baby?
August 20, 2015
This question gets brought up a lot among parents expecting their second and even third, fourth, etc. child.
I am expecting my second child in just a few weeks and wondered this same thing. I am having a boy this time, and I moved across the country midway through my pregnancy. Financially we were more comfortable when our first child was born, and we lived closer to family and our main support system. Needless to say, I had some anxiety about bringing this baby into the world.
I cannot even tell you how relieved I was when my family offered to throw us a baby/moving shower before we moved. And shortly after we arrived in our new home across the country, we made new friends who all asked if they could throw us a shower, as well. This made me wonder why I ever questioned whether or not it was a common practice at all!
While it’s probably more common to have a baby shower for the first child, is there some rule of etiquette that says you shouldn’t have a baby shower for subsequent children? Absolutely not!
If you think about it, what is the purpose of a baby shower?
To celebrate and show support for the arrival of a new baby!
So here are the reasons you absolutely SHOULD have a baby shower for ALL of your children!
Your second, third, etc. baby should be celebrated just as much as your first.
Whether you are having the baby yourself or adopting the baby, whether you’re having one baby or quadruplets, whether you’re adopting a newborn or an 8-year old – CELEBRATE the arrival of the new addition(s) to your family, and show support for your loved ones welcoming a new addition and going through such a significant live event.
Your pink newborn outfits and swaddle blankets from your first child probably won’t work for the son you’re expecting in a few months.
And the diapers and custom-monogrammed onesies probably won’t work either. I have seen some showers for subsequent babies thrown as “diaper showers” because the family already had adequate supplies for their new addition, and you can never have enough diapers. I’ve also seen baby showers thrown simply as parties, with the family asking for no gifts and simply a chance to celebrate with their loved ones. A quick Google search can give you numerous fun ideas for party themes or other ideas for celebrating the arrival of subsequent children if the expectant parents aren’t in need of any supplies.3.
Would you throw or attend the birthday parties of a 2nd or 3rd, etc. child?
So why shouldn’t there be a celebration for their first, ACTUAL birth-day, the biggest of them all? If you only chose to throw a big party for a single birthday out of their whole life, I believe it should be their very first. Take lots of pictures and show them who was there with them from the very beginning.
Would you throw or attend a high school graduation party? How about a college graduation party for that same person?
A graduation for different degrees isn’t much different than a baby shower for different babies. I would even argue that the expectant parents could use the support and celebration more than the recent grad.
Babies put a lot of wear and tear on their stuff.
Chances are your first child spit up or had blow-outs that rendered several blankets, burp rags, outfits, etc. unusable. Based on how spread out you have your children, your car seat and crib could also have expired or been recalled. New safety standards and features are always being released, and you might be surprised to find that even if they’re in good shape, you may not be able to reuse a lot of your baby equipment.
It’s a chance to show support and love for the parents and the new baby.
It’s not all about getting gifts, although that is the custom way to offer support and help the new parents off to a great start. But NEVER necessary.
The purpose of the baby shower is not just to get gifts.
Giving gifts is one way your friends and family show their support and their desire to help you succeed in this new chapter, but gifts are not the only way to show support. I’ve both attended showers at which I didn’t bring a gift and had people attend my showers without bringing a gift. And guess what? It didn’t matter at either. I wrote a nice card and later, at a lunch with the friend, explained that the budget was tight those few weeks and that I would get a gift to her later. And guess what her response was? “That’s not necessary, I was just so happy you came!” Because we are friends. And that is exactly my response when someone apologizes for not attending or not being able to bring a gift to an event on our behalf. I love being surrounded by my loved ones. I don’t care what possessions they have to offer. Just knowing that I have support and love through a big life change is what matters most.
In a world that makes you feel like every celebration you have should look like a viral pin from Pinterest, it can be easy to forget what baby showers and other celebrations are all about. Whether it’s the birth of a fourth baby, a graduation for a high school or bachelor’s degree, or a reception for a third marriage, we should always celebrate and show support for our loved ones, for we never truly know what the future holds. Having a baby is hard, regardless of if you’re having your first or your fifth. Show love and support for those around you. Don’t get caught up in the idea that fancy decorations, elaborate food, and expensive gifts are necessary for these occasions.
It’s simple: celebrate and show support for the loved ones in your life.
Did you have a baby shower for your second or other subsequent children? Did you have a specific theme or type of party? Share your experiences and ideas below!
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