The hilarious, the disgusting, and the adorable: Angie’s Guide Week 27
June 17, 2015
I didn’t realize I was 27 weeks pregnant until about 4 days after I passed the mark. So my celebration of being in my 3rd trimester was a bit belated but HOORAY! I’m in the home stretch!
So this week…Chicken fries happened this week. And boy have I got a major life-hack for you!
There’s only a small window of time when chicken fries are even edible, or else they’ll turn into these chicken-like sponges, so this week has been a little bit hectic as far chicken fries are concerned.
One time my darling husband went to get me chicken fries at 11PM and when he got back, they were already in the sponge phase. At first, he thought I was just being a brat but I made him try one and he agreed with me, it’s not just my pregnancy peculiarities, they really are inedible if they aren’t fresh. But it was so late and at least the fries were fresh so I just ate those and dealt with it.
But now I’ve got it figured out…
I didn’t want to sound high-maintenance and ask the workers at the BK lounge to make me a fresh batch of chicken fries, but I also didn’t want to waste five bucks and still be hungry. So I just told that drive-thru microphone “I’m really pregnant, and chicken fries are kinda my thing, so if you could make them fresh that’d be…” and she cut me off and said these life-changing words:
“chicken fries off the fryer, okay, what else?”
WHAAA?!?! Yep, it’s a thing. It’s not even a big deal. They don’t even care. See, check out the receipt:
They have a special button for it and everything. You don’t have to even explain yourself, you can just say you’d like them fresh and they just do it. Every single time.
Now that’s a valuable life-hack if I’ve ever heard one.
In addition to the chicken fries life hack, week 28 has had some kind-of gross moments, some really cute moments, and some really gut-rolling, pee-your-pants hilarious moments.
Since laughing is my favorite and you NEED TO SEE THIS, let’s start with…
The Freakin’ Hilarious Moment
Oh, this was just too much.
So I have a long-haired dog. Since we moved back east, the heat and humidity have been really hard on her. She’s shedding much more and sooner than usual and just struggling. I’ve never shaved her or had her groomed, but figured that would help. I found a lady on a Facebook Classifieds page that said she was a professional groomer who was going to work from home because she just had a baby. She was also studying to be a vet tech so she was good with aggressive dogs, etc. My dog is very mild and sweet, but she sounded legit so I called her up. She was offering a $25 special for a full shave and groom. Can’t beat that! I told her I didn’t want anything fancy, just an all-over, even, short shave to help with the heat. She told me she could get me in that day!
She texted me her address, along with the side note that she’d be working out of her Winnebago in her driveway because her garage was too hot. Okay…
The house was a bit secluded and sketchy-looking, but she was kind and my dog liked her (which matters). She said she’d probably just shave her body to be the same length as the hair on her head. Sounded great.
This was my dog before the haircut.
This is my dog after the haircut:
I can’t stop laughing. Even when I picked her up I just laughed. She looks TERRIBLE, like SO, SO BAD! I’m sure she feels better now with
shorter no hair, we just have to keep her away from any mirrors to protect her self-esteem.
The Gross Moment
Well, another thing I’ve been doing lately is fishing. In fact, I brought my chicken fries with me to the lake a few times; it’s just been so great. We have a nice lake about 5 minutes down the road and go almost every night.
But I’m pretty sure the mosquitos are crazy attracted to my pregnancy smell or something because even when I wear long pants and long sleeves (which I do every time now), I find 4-5 bites on both feet and hands. HANDS! So now I wear socks and shoes in 100 degrees, 100% humidity and eat chicken fries and catch fish. And no, my daughter and husband haven’t gotten any mosquito or bug bites, so it really is a pregnancy smell thing, thanks for asking. I really don’t know how to deal with it, I’m literally itching a mosquito bite on the bottom of my foot as I type this.
I mean the obvious suggestion would be to get bug spray, but is it even safe to wear that much bug spray when pregnant? Okay, it probably is, but do I really want to smell like DEET 24/7? Absolutely not. I DID hear about a possible solution – creamy baby oil.
(I don’t really understand this product because I feel like the creamy part kind of cancels out the oily-part, but oh well).
Buy it here.
Oh, and did I mention I seem to be allergic to these mosquitos and my bites swell to the size of nickels? Let me tell ya, these pregnant calves of mine covered with swollen mosquito bites are the envy of all the dress-wearing church ladies I see every Sunday. Mmmmmm-hmmmmm.
If this stuff works, I’ll write an update so you can thank me for yet another wonderful life-hack 🙂
And to get that lovely image of my mosquito-bitten pregnant lady legs out of your mind, here’s…
The Cute Moment
My daughter was taking a bath and, as always, she INSISTS on doing everything herself…
(I have no idea where she gets all of this independence from because both of her parents are extremely submissive and docile. NOT. Karma has gotten me sooo good for how stubborn, bratty, and independent I was growing up).
…So she’s washing herself and she always narrates what she does and as she washes her belly she says, “and now I’m washing my Henry” because that’s what we call the baby in my belly even though that’s not his name. It’s just the only name we both don’t hate, but I also don’t want to name him Henry. I think.
I thought that was just too cute.
Lesson learned this week: You get what you pay for, but your dog will love you anyway.
Do you have any discount FAILS that taught you a lesson about going too cheap?
What are some things you just absolutely CANNOT skimp on (besides dog grooming, obviously)?
…and most importantly,
ANY BUG REPELLENT SUGGESTIONS FOR DAILY USE?!
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