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The Three Trimesters of Pregnancy: A Humorous Perspective

March 8, 2018

If you’re reading this post, you’ve undoubtedly been searching other sites looking for information about your pregnancy and its various stages. It’s true, each trimester of pregnancy is amazing and miraculous in its own way. However, you might not be getting the “full” story. So today, I’m sharing a humorous, slightly sarcastic, perspective of each trimester of pregnancy, in hopes that you’ll have a little laugh. While also trying to appreciate the miracle that is your pregnancy. Even though it might not feel like a miracle every minute of the day.

(Also, I acknowledge that the path to pregnancy isn’t always easy or possible, so I send my love to those of you who are still waiting. I hope you get to experience all of the things, and also have an amazing experience.)

First Trimester: AKA, when you’re super sick and can’t tell anybody you’re pregnant.

Your first trimester encompasses the first 13 weeks of your pregnancy, which is measured from the first day of your last period. This is also the time where you’ll probably start to feel super sick, and not be able to tell anyone about it. So, it’s kind of like having a secret stomach bug that will unleash its fury at inopportune times, like at a work meeting or a birthday dinner for your husband’s best friend. (Not like I’m speaking from experience or anything.) But that can kind of be a fun, nauseous joke between you and your inner circle. It’s like you all have a really exciting, albeit puke-inducing, secret that is about to be unleashed to the world.

And, if you’re like me, you’re going to start gaining some weight. Just enough that people might think that you had a little too much ice cream… at every meal. You don’t quite get to own the cuteness of the baby bump, but your pants might not fit. Oh, and your hormones levels begin to change significantly. Which is great for baby, but it also means you miiiight start getting acne. Deep, cystic acne that you might have to have airbrushed off of your face in every one of your sister’s wedding photos. Hey, anything’s possible.

Second Trimester: AKA, things are starting to get really real.

Your second trimester spans weeks 13-27 of your pregnancy. It’s also a time where many women start to feel better and get a surge of energy. (Lucky ducks.) This is also a fun time because it’s the time where most people announce their pregnancies to their larger circle and also do gender reveals (if that’s your thing). The social media possibilities are endless, really.

Your body also continues to change, and your baby bump will most likely emerge. So you’ll transition from the “a little too much ice cream” phase to, “I’m carrying a human/humans, so give me all the ice cream with no judgement” phase. Which is a fun place to be, not going to lie. If you work outside the home, this is probably the time when you will announce your pregnancy to your boss and coworkers and start making plans for your maternity leave. (My advice would be to make sure you have everything locked down about two months in advance. My first came five weeks early, and really put a damper on my Friday client barbecue attendance.)

Third Trimester: AKA, shower time. Also, baby time.

Trimester three starts with week 28 and continues to the birth of your baby. This is the time where you’ll start seeing your doctor or midwife more frequently, and you and your baby will be monitored more closely to ensure that everything is on track. If it’s your first baby it’ll also be shower time. Which is fun, not only because you get lots of great baby stuff, but because you can celebrate this wonderful time with the people you love most.

You also might have a difficult time seeing your feet. Or shaving your legs. Or seeing how amazing the stretch marks on the underside of your stomach look. (Use almond oil. Or shea butter. And thank me later.) You’ll also have the benefit of seeing just how crazy it is to see a human moving around inside your body. You might see a foot, the impression of her head, and, if you’re really lucky, you’ll get a nice swift kick to the bladder. It’s a good reminder that kids are awesome, but also kind of a pain sometimes. But we love them regardless.

And, at the end of this adventure, you get to meet your child, and marvel at just how your body did all of the crazy things it did to get her here. That, my friends, is the best feeling in the world.

What are some humorous stories from your pregnancy? 


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Avatar for Lauren Soderberg

Lauren Soderberg

Wife of one tall drink of water. Mama of two spunky kids. Lover of awkwardly long hashtags and unicorn emojis. And babies, obviously.

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