Transitioning from Working Mom to Stay-at-Home Mom (or Dad)
August 25, 2017
Humans were created with the ability to feel emotion, so it’s entirely okay to feel all the feels when you decide to leave a career to become a stay at home mom. It’s new, it’s different, and it’s sad to leave familiarity. Read this guide for tips to help you make the transition from a working mom (or dad) to a stay-at-home mom (or dad).
Don’t underestimate your value
All changes are hard. There is an adjustment period and perhaps even somewhat of a grieving period as you face giving up something you’ve done for so long and worked so hard to attain. It is normal and expected to feel mixed emotions, so let them process. However, don’t ever give in to the notion that being a stay-at-home-mom is less important than any other job. Different doesn’t mean unequal. Just like society depends on jobs in every sector of the market to keep things going, society needs mothers to raise the next generation into good, responsible adults. There’s a very strong argument for parenthood being one of the most important jobs you can have. After all, if we all decided there were more important things to do than having and raising children, we would be the last generation on earth, wouldn’t we?
Take care of yourself
Even though you’re leaving your job, you don’t have to leave your hobbies and the rest of your routine. If a regular yoga class was important to you, keep it. If a monthly girls night out was always on the schedule, maintain the tradition. It’s important to take care of yourself, for you are important as well, despite how demanding a baby can be. It may be hard to find a balance between juggling the responsibilities of taking care of a baby and self-care, but remember that there are others in your shoes. Create a support system of other new moms to share advice, tips, and favors as you all try to navigate this big change in your life. There are a lot of online support groups on Facebook, Instagram, etc. where you can share advice, stories, or just vent.
Consider at-home work
If you have plans to return to work in the future, perhaps you can work part-time from home or volunteer occasionally to maintain your skills and an updated resume. It may not be in the cards for a few months or even years, but there will always be work to be done and help that is needed in the world and your willingness to serve and experience as a mother will be valuable.
One way to help you adjust to the changes and overcome the feelings of grief from leaving a career is to develop an attitude of gratitude. Realize that there are many parents that must return to work shortly after baby is born out of necessity, and wish they would stay at home. Consider your routine before you came home – waking up, drinking coffee, getting to work on time, taking a scheduled lunch break, coming home in traffic, unwinding with Netflix, etc. Chances are, your new routine with your baby is a lot less predictable and, what’s more, it’s full of amazing milestones! You get to watch a human take their very first steps, speak their very first word, and literally watch them grow before your eyes. That is an incredible miracle.
This will become your “new normal.” You will get into a routine, learn what to do, and become an expert at raising your child, and after a while, you will probably realize you can’t imagine doing anything else. Life is too short and childhood especially is too short to spend a single minute worrying what anyone else is doing or what anyone thinks about you. Nobody else in the entire world or history of the world is the same as you or your children, so the way you live your life should not be compared to anyone else. Trust your instincts and realize this precious time is so short. I mean, do you remember much of your childhood? Especially the early years fly by so quickly, so realize that this is just a phase of life, and give it your best shot.
Treat it like a job
Every job requires continuing education, consistent training, etc. Parenthood is no different. It doesn’t always come natural, and other people do have advice and techniques you might not know about that could help you. So read books and articles, and devote time to learning more about this job to be the best mom you can be. After all, no other job in the world was as tailor-made for you as being the mother to your own child.
What helped you adjust from being a working mom to a stay-at-home mom (or dad)? Share with us below!
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